Take the jump!

I woke up really late today. I hate waking up late; I feel like I just wasted so much of my day but then I don't really know what I would've done if I had woken up earlier... I was having the weirdest dreams. All over the place, like me, last night. I was all over the place. I cried watching Grey's Anatomy. I hardly EVER cry watching programs or even movies and I cried watching Grey's Anatomy. It was a sad episode; they killed the dog and the nicest man on the show in the same episode, way too much for my crazy hormones, I guess. I'm a little sad. I'll be leaving Bangalore tomorrow. Back to Mumbai, back to my Granny's house - that sort of depresses me. And then I start college on Monday. Its been so long since I've actually studied and been out of school, been out of the education system, I can't help being a little apprehensive. No matter what you say, change is always hard. Change is uncomfortable. Always. I guess that's it. So much has changed and will continue to change, its a little hard, a little painful, a little sad. Of course you get used to it. You move on. But it takes a while and in the first leg of change, its actually hard to believe it will get better, you will get used to it. And that's where I am. My world is about to take a twirl. And I'm anticipating it. Its like standing on the edge of that waterfall, about to jump. My legs are shaking but there's someone holding my hand and that person has promised to jump with me. And somebody else has promised to rescue me at the bottom, if I suddenly forget to swim. Everybody's saying, "Come on, Tina! You can do it! JUMP!" But I'm still not sure. I mean, my legs are SHAKING like they'll give any moment, they'll just buckle beneath me and then I will be over the waterfall, but it'll hurt. It has to be my choice. To jump. And I did. The feeling of dropping through the air, the splash, I did it! Totally worth it. But I refused to ever do it again!
Niru was the one holding my hand. The waterfall was at Avalanche. I'll never forget that.
I feel like I'm there again. Except there's no waterfall, nor Niru, nor everybody else.
But its me, and God holding my hand and the rest of my life.
I'll jump with you and I'll catch you too.