Its weird how my senses can stimulate memories in my head.
So many memories. 18 years worth of memories. Almost 19 in fact. They’re all stacked up some where in my brain, and I can’t always access them whenever I want to but they show up sometimes at the most annoying of times or when I really would rather not remember them.
A smell, a sight, a taste, a sound or a touch of some kind and KA-BAM a distinct picture of a moment in my past comes running back to me and I get that funny feeling in my stomach; like as if my heart just sank to where my stomach is and it feels heavy.
Sometimes it’s a nice feeling and sometimes it just makes me want to barf.
Sometimes I don’t want to remember cause it hurts and it makes me want to cry and sometimes I get sick of crying.
And sometimes, the memory reminds me to be positive, life is great.
Sometimes I just want to disappear. Imagine that?? When you really don’t want to be somewhere, you could just snap a finger and you’re gone. But life’s not like that. And that’s probably the cowardy-custard kind of way to do it!
I don’t even know why I am talking about this. I think it was just because I smelt rain yesterday and it had this distinct smell that stimulated a memory of Ooty…
Later,
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